Memories in small things

There are few things in life that will stop you in your tracks. Some "things" carry with them memories, sounds, smells, thoughts and a wave of emotions –and every once in a while when you see these “things” everything stops and the past comes back and for a moment you're re-living memories. For me, today, it was of the smallest thing…a golf ball (the one in the picture above). I’ve been packing for the last two days… packing the essential items and storing away the rest. My two months of rest and relaxation are over. In about two weeks I’ll be on a plane for Libya to start my new journey. Well, while bustling around – focused on packing and keeping emotions at bay, listening to Norah Jones…I saw this small golf ball…and it stopped me…and a flood of memories came rushing back… memories of a new beginning with a rush of excitement. I’ve kept this golf ball with me for the last 2 ½ years. It was the end of October 2006, Diwali actually, when it came to me. A dear friend and I were throwing it back and forth to each other and having the most amazing conversation…it was fun, flirty…sexy, challenging and natural. After that night…I vowed in my heart to keep this golf ball with me forever. And I will.

I do that with certain things. If something special happens or a “moment” occurs…I’ll try and pick up a rock or some item around…and will take it with me and keep it. I have a whole shoe box filled with small keep sakes and journals filled with dried flowers and scrap books filled with tickets, receipts, etc. For some reason, I love to hang on to the past. It’s like I have too. It’s what makes me, me. I don’t feel complete with out these things… My whole life is a journal. Since the 2nd grade I’ve kept a journal. I think I have over 15.

I’m feeling very sentimental and reminiscent right now. If the right words are spoken or if I would be allowed to really speak my heart…a flood of tears would come pouring out. See…there they go… ☺ Something happens to me when I’m moving on. I hate it, yet I have to have it. Jatin, one of my very good friends in India told me when I was leaving India, “Marie, this is what you want. You want to experience all of life and all of its emotions. You know what it feels to be in a wide variety of situations…and that’s what you really want out of life”. He could have never been more right. Yet somehow, I have to keep the past with me – whether its in words, keep sakes, pictures or golf balls – it’s a must for me - I guess it provides meaning...somehow makes all the moving and seeing...and moving...have substance and the memories tangible...